A Peace of My Mind

I'm Back!!

2007-12-23T23:39:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's been 1 whole year since my last posting...that's quite a break!! Tho i'm still in not the mood to go crazy blogging again, I think it's time to start updating my blog again. New year is coming but the whole 2007 has been good to me. New hobby, many new friends and a really meaningful relationship!! Hopefully 2008 will be as kind to me..cheers guys!

Things that they produced

2006-09-11T14:31:00.000+08:00

Hangout with a new friend yesterday and at one point, the topic drifted to how different the personality can be between one nation to another. The way they live their lives,personality and culture of a certain group of people/ nation can easily be seen in the kind of things that they make/ produced. Over the years I've read, watched enough to notice the type of machines that these people make, and I guess it does represents the nation generally...

Americans - Not much rules/ guidelines to follow, just use whatever works. It's all about the biggest engine, pack up the maximum horsepower, and try to be the fastest. Mechanical beast at it's finest. Good design but it's not the most important thing compared to power. Good reliability, can almost do anything with it, even things it's not meant to do (think rough cowboys/rednecks), easy to build, maintain and relatively easy to fix. All of these can be done in the backyard/garage of their own house. Come in large numbers. Best example would be Fords, GM, Hotrods

British - Excellent design and style is perhaps the most important thing. Oozes class hence the expensive pricetag. Good technologies but not very reliable. Production numbers are not very high. Needs to be well maintained and some skills needed to fix it. Befriending the mechanics would be a good idea. Good example of class, still good but mostly legend of the past (think James Bond). Best example would be Jaguar, Aston Martin, MG, Norton motorcycles

Germans - Really advanced technologies and excellent designs. Very complex, expensive machines. Also includes unnecessary technologies sometimes and they come up with it because they can. Comes in good numbers. Needs to be well maintained but very reliable. Similarly very hard to fix and needed specialised mechanics/workshop. Do not try to fix it yourself. Best example: BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, Audi

Italians - Legendary designs, very good technologies,very focus in what they do. Take immense pride in craftsmanship (think Casanova)hence the very small numbers. Have to maintain and take good care simply because it'll cost both arms and legs to get one! Finest example: Ferarri and Lamborghini

Japanese - Very good designs and technologies. Size, looks, style, power, speed price are very well balance. Comes in very large numbers. Excellent in reliability and fairly easy to maintain and fix. The most economical machines around. Excelled in everything,well balanced all around but not the thing that makes a legend.Just very efficient machines. Finest example: Honda, Toyota, Mitsibishi,Nissan

Russians - Good technologies, bad designs and safety would probably be the last thing that they care about. Very cheap, very easy to produce and not very effective quality control. Very efficient with excellent reliability in a bizarre way. Good enough to get the job done and no more. Almost non-existence style/class/comfort. Produced in very very large numbers and Stalin even said something like "Quantity itself has it's own quality" Good example: Russian military machines.

Malaysians - Well I don't wanna go there la...not yet at least.

A few words...

2006-07-26T13:20:00.000+08:00

Gosh, almost have to force myself to write something. I figure out that if I didn't make any effort to force myself...I would never write again. There're so many things happening around but it's just hard to really write something about it nowadays. Taking a break from taking photographs too. I concluded that I lost my muse for those things...I wonder why...come to think of it, maybe I should start giving names to my TV, DVD and astro remotes since I spend so much of my time with em...shishh

Of Allahyarham En. DPM

2006-04-25T12:49:00.000+08:00

To be honest, I don't remember much about Allahyarham Tun Ghafar Baba and much of my earlier memories about him was when he was the DPM years ago after Tan Sri Musa Hitam stepped down from that post (which I have no memory of it whatsoever). He didn't really stand out among his politician peers the way they always do. He didn't come from a powerhouse politicians family nor was he a fiery speaker like. As far as I remember too, he's not the type that engineered nation's maga projects or monuments.

However, one thing that really sticks to my mind when it come to Allahyarham was that he was still En Ghafar Baba when he was the DPM which was quite strange at that time for man of his position. As I read the newspaper about this man, he was the below-the-radar guy for a politician and that would explain alot but it's really hard to find someone who would refuse to accept awards that would make one a Datuk, Datuk Seri, Tan Sri especially in the politics community. Then again, Allahyarham was one of the nation's early politicians. A rare breed compared to the type that we have now and currently at the bottom of the list when it comes to thrustworthy.

I my former office, there was this one plaque where the building was officiated by then the Health Minister in 1970s which happened to be En Health Minister(I can't recall his name). I guess during those days, people doesn't give much thought about having datukship or maybe the title itself was so 'expensive' that even a minister would still be an 'En.'. It can't be more ironic compared to nowadays where almost everyone has some sort of title and nobody would bat an eye to a Datuk (well at least I won't).There're so many things that have changed in the past 30 years but this is one of the things to stay the same as it used to be. Politicians really working for the nations instead of the nation working for the politicians. People see politics as a ticket to some government projects and a waterhole for the ones looking for self gain. Where it used to be a genuine way to help the people, it has become a way to milk the people and country of it's wealth. Will the politician top the trustworthy list? I don't know...

Warning: Hazardous entry

2006-04-23T14:42:00.000+08:00

*CAUTION: If you know me and somehow have any contact/interact with me before, if you're my friends or used to be my friends and to all who might be my future friends, do not read this entry if you cannot take the heat but please kindly do so if you want to get to know me better...

I really do not understand how I sometimes let some people make me feel like I'm not good enough...how I let them make me forget that my preference is my own! Yeah I have to admit that I can be different compared to most people but that's something I always take pride in (made me believed it's freaky). In my right mind I'm proud of how diff my cup of tea in music,hobbies,sports,things I reads and values in life so why the heck should I feel bad for all the things that I like when I'm around some people??They (yes, there are many people) who tell me I listen to strange-unheard-of music or read/watch boring stuff (yes you know who you are! :p)and indulge myself in some strange/boring/anti social hobbies.

Well for the record (and off the record too) am happy with my life and the way I lead them now and I don't need people telling me it's crap just because they're having theirs differently. I don't mind spicing up my life but I'm not (and shudn't even try) letting go what I like just because they say some things are cooler. Well I listen to cool stuff, I have cool hobbies and I read cool books so do not try to sugget otherwise.I think I accomodate others too much sometimes and it's bad for health...at least to mine. Am sick of taking shits from people so if anyone have any problem with my preference...sod off...

Wind of Change

2006-04-03T09:04:00.000+08:00

Will be writing less here just because I dun have that much to say nowadays. Instead,I'll put my perspective and views in my new photoblog at Kassandra & I with shots taken over the last 1 year. If there's still anyone reading my blog here, hopefully they'll check out my new photoblog and give comments on the photos there. All comments andd views regarding the shots are most welcome and wll be much appreciated just as all the views here before...see you there...

Am a Ronin

2006-03-30T09:28:00.000+08:00

Need to free my mind and heart...am a lone sword, a ronin... and a ronin must keep moving and be free for the only person that takes care of a ronin is himself. Got to keep cool and be objective. Am a lone sword, will always be till the bitter end...got to lose all feelings and emotions...shed all the smiles and tears...

Dangerous exploits...

2006-03-23T13:58:00.000+08:00

Say your prayers...

Being in love is like being in a rollercoaster; the highest, most dangerous, most exciting emotional ride one can have. In a split of a second the ride can go up and down turning, spinning and twisting. It can gives the most exciting feeling in the world but one can also feel dizzy and throw up at times. It comes with the ride and nobody can say they're not being warned of the risks once they stepped in for the ride...I kinda say to myself that I don't want to take the rollercoaster ride anymore fearing it'll be as dangerous and devastating as the last one...but somehow I'm finding myself taking this ride again. Still scared as hell yet it's a ride I don't wanna miss. Like I said, I can't say I'm not aware of the risk. Getting in one again and survive the ride hold as many chance as surviving a game of Russian roulette. Not very impressive if you see the winning stat...Better say my prayers now...

Hopelessly hoping...

2006-03-21T09:45:00.000+08:00

I was never good in some things...will I be better this time? Hopefully...till then...

aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu
Seiring jejak kakiku bergetar
Aku t'lah terpagut oleh cintamu
Menelusup hariku dengan harapan
Namun kau masih terdiam membisu

Sepenuhnya aku ingin memelukmu
mendekap penuh harapan
'tuk mencintaimu
Setulusnya aku akan terus menunggu
menanti sebuah jawaban
'tuk memilikimu
Betapa pilunya rindu menusuk jiwaku
Semoga kau tahu isi hatiku
Dan seiring waktu yang terus berputar
Aku masih terhanyut dalam mimpiku

Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
Dan aku tak bisa menyentuh jiwamu

The good and the bad

2006-03-20T11:12:00.000+08:00

Been going to the office on a bicycle for 2 weeks now. I bought and ride it in the spirit of improving my fitness. The good news is, it does gives a significant effect but the bad news is, I fell off it on Saturday! Thank God nobody saw it!... ;)

p/s: It's been ages since I fell off a bike and since i have to put the chain back on!I feel really old!

A weekend well spent

2006-03-14T08:20:00.000+08:00

Am feeeling veeeeeeeery tired right now, but I'm not complaining. Spent the weekend drooling over art pieces, having picnic at the lake and indulging in double cheese burger,baskin ice creams, tako tao + sushi! A weekend well spent courtesy of a very special patient :)...looking forward to do something like that again soon...

p/s: I also experienced ATROPINE overdose over the weekend...

Main effects: There is usually an increase in heart rate and sometimes a tachycardia as well as inhibition of secretions (causing a dry mouth) and relaxation of smooth muscle in the gut, urinary tract and biliary tree (read: an elaborate and scientic statement for I'M JUST DAMN sEXCITED but NERVOUS!)

Living a fantasy...

2006-03-10T08:18:00.000+08:00

All of us have fantasies and dreams and I guess that's one of the best way to spend our leisure time (well some do it 24H/day). Most of the time, we think that we've dreamt every single part of those fantasies but I think that's an overstatement. As an example, one have this dreams about owning some superb cars, let say something like the Aston Martin DB9 or maybe the BMW Z4. Now in all those fantasies, there're always this images of driving the cars, having fun with it, enjoy the sheer driving pleasures and beauty of it and maybe it includes showing off the car (I don't do this, I'm a good humble guy...hehehhe). So, dreaming about it is always a fun thing to do but not everyone are fortunate enough to get what they fantasize of...some don't even know how to get what they dream and some would never achieve it...

Let's no waste our time discussing about the ones that do not know how to get it and the ones who will never achieved their fantasies and dreams. We'll just focus this discussion on the ones who are fortunate enough. As I mentioned earlier, we tend to imagine the only the good part of the dreams/ fantasies. In the car fantasies, we always imagine driving hard and fast with the wind thru the hair, having a gorgeous babe at the side, flashing the car etc. What we rarely imagine is the not-so-good part! Ohh yes, maybe there're Utopian dreams but there's no such thing as utopian reality. There are always some flaws when those dreams are translated into reality.

In the car fantasies, I can safely bet that not many will imagine about the hard cold reality of really owning one. The part where one has to really take care of it, being overly cautious and protective ( obviously there's something wrong with a guy who failed to feel that about a beautiful and expensive ride!), fair hours or anxiety, restlessness and maybe some sleepless night thinking about having the car itself not to mention both wanted and unwanted attention. That's still doesn't includes the maintenances where one have to shit bricks and paying thru the nose for the raising fuel cost, insurance and to make sure it is in good top condition.

All the things that I mentioned above rarely included in our fantasies. Fantasizing is one thing but living the fantasy is another. It doesn't mean that it's a fantasy turned nightmare, just that we should be prepared to go thru some headaches and adjustment while living our dreams and fantasies. Dreams/fantasies come true is always a good thing,it should... but be prepared to adjust to the unexpected things that might come with it... :)

p/s: Feel free to apply the discussion on other fantasies...

...

2006-03-09T12:58:00.000+08:00

Human stupidity is infinite...and I'm one of those human...sigh...

yours truly,
Pesa

Remember, remember...

2006-03-07T12:21:00.000+08:00

I watched the trailer for V for Vendetta and it made me think about the possibility of dictator state arise from the debris of crumbled democratic government.Maybe we think that democracy is something planted firmly in Malaysia and many other countries.The type of government,people who govern and the people's rights has never been more fragile that it is today thanks to the advance communication. Rome and other great empires were not build in a day but the decaying and the fall of those government also took many years.

Today, it wouldn't take long for a government or a state to crumble.A coup d'etat can crippled a govenment within a couple of hours and the the whole nation can be stripped of their rights in a day.For a democratic nation, the worst enemy of the system has to be FEAR. A great force of military is needed to execute a coup d'etat and wrestle the people of their rights. However, using the sentiment of fear, one can take away the people's rights without even the need to use any force. Using the fear of losing the democracy itself can be used to justify dictatorship. People will gladly give their freedom and rights when this fear being stuffed into their throats.

There are many example where a person/group of people use the awesome combination of theatrical and fear to slowly but surely take away the fereedom and rights of a nation right under their nose. The easiest example to explain this would be the Patriotic Act by the American government after the 9/11 incident to tap people's conversations, money transactions,emails and strip many other rights. At one time it even includes waging an illegal war and executing subversive actions to nations thousand of miles away. All of these in the name of upholding democracy. Other recent examples would be the declaration of emergency state in Philippines or the attack on the Shi'ite mosque in Iraq. Make no mistake that all of these incidents were used to create fear and panic in the society giving those people a chance to use/create whatever acts to 'take control' of the situation. This acts will include stripping people's rights in the name of democracy. It's very amusing how justifying the need to uphold democracy can be used to destroy democracy itself. Every state and nations is at risk. REMEMBER,REMEMBER...

Permit Besar

2006-03-02T12:47:00.000+08:00

Was too lazy to write before but I can't help sharing this one will all you guys. I was in Melaka a few days back for a meeting organized bu my old workplace. During one of the lunch, I was joined by one of the drivers from the old office. We were having our lunch while catching up on things when the topic of discussion turned to his part time job. This guy, mr.R drives a cab after office hour and i started asking him about it.One of my question was about how he obtained his private cab permit. The conversation was like this:

Me: Memang permit sendiri eh?

Mr.R: A'ah...kira nasib baik la dapat, kena interview suma dulu...tunjuk la kata gaji kita kecik suma, tak cukup...dia kesian la...

Me: oooohh...ye ke? Untung la dapat permit tu kan?

Mr.R: Bawak teksi ni permit dia besar!

Me: Besar? besar camna tu?

Mr.R: Ye la, besar la...ko nak bawak sapa suma boleh! Anak dara ke, tunang orang ke, bini orang ke, janda ke...takde sapa bole kata apa!Lepas tu pandai² la nak idup! Bini ko pun takleh nak cakap apa! Nak balik malam ke, lepas subuh ke, janji bawak balik duit. Kalau dia tanya, cakap la "abang keluar ni cari duit,untuk kau jugak"...

Me: camtu eh?

Mr.R: hehehhee...lepas ko dah keluar tu, suka hati la nak buat apa ke, nak gi mana ke, nak lepak ke...kalau gi dating satu hari pun,sebelum balik rumah, buat keluar je la duit gaji tunjuk kat bini...pompuan ni kalau kau ter'minum' ke, ter'berjudi' ke...marah dia kejap je...ada la dalam seminggu...tapi kalau bab ada pompuan lain, sampai mati dah dia tak percaya...sebab tu untung bawak teksi ni!

Was just smiling and trying to keep my composure tho I was quite shocked. Well, now I know what's the meaning of 'Permit Besar'! I'm quite sure not all of the cab drivers are into those sort of things. Maybe most of em do really work their asses for the hard earned money to support the family...but still, that's a trick that i haven't heard/seen before when it comes to guys fooling around...So i just wanna share the story as a reminder...that guys can be very brilliant when it comes to conjuring up tricks to fool around!

Enough to make you cry

2006-01-23T14:59:00.000+08:00

Aston Martin V8 Vantage...enough to make you cry unless you can afford one

2 Budak Nakal!!

2006-01-17T16:51:00.000+08:00

My 2 nephews posing in baju raya...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha!!

2006-01-06T15:11:00.000+08:00

I would like to wish a very Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to everyone and although I'm not doing any korban for this Raya like last year I hope it's gonna be as fun. Last year was my 1st time performing my own korban and the reason am not having any this year is because both my parents are performaing the Haj in Mekah. So, no balik kampung trip and definately no 'meat weak' this year (which is good considering a few pounds that I've been putting up lately). To everyone who'll be performing their korban this year, have a good time with the slaughtering and enjoy all the yummy cookings but be careful not to over eat.Don't want anyone to spend the rest of the week in the hospital!!

p/s: To Rostam, ease up on the meat ok? ...:p

The year that was 2005

2005-12-30T08:43:00.000+08:00

2005...another transitional year in my life. Some great, not so great,good and bad moments strewed across the year's journey. The goal is still the same, tho still not achieved this year, hopefully it'll be materialised in 2006. Am really hoping for the wheels to start spinning faster and get the whole thing moving soon. Anyway, to all the new friends that I made throughout 2005, nice to know you all...to all the friend that I lost, nice to know you too. Not forgetting to anyone who do visit/read this humble abode of mine, thanks for the support and shared thoughts. Hope to see you guys again in 2006...HAPPY NEW YEAR....

The year that was 2005

2005-12-29T09:05:00.000+08:00

Lock, stock and two sweaty foreheads...

2005-12-19T15:29:00.000+08:00

It was raining. The man drove us to my car and we said goodbye to him. I got into the car, start the engine, turned on the radio. I panicked when I just realized that I didn't have the key to the steering lock with me!!I'm dead...

Went to Langkawi for LIMA on the 11th with a friend. I picked her up before we drove to Kuala Kedah for the ferry ride to Langkawi. When we got there at 9.30, the jetty was already jam packed with so many people.I bet it was due to the holiday season plus the LIMA thingy. Tried to find a parking spot, bumped into a guy who said he has a spot tho it's kinda far from the jetty. We have no choice but to follow him. I dun feel that good about it tho. He told us to call him when we got back from Langkawi.

...There I was, stuck in a locked car in the middle of the night in a totally alien town!To make the bloody situation worse, the town is already closed at 9pm.I tried to yank the bloody lock from the steering but to no success.Beads of sweat started coming out from my forehead in a chilling night while giving a blank stare at the steering wheel. I was cracking my head on what to do when my friend suggested that we call for help from the guy who sent us. I dialled his number and quickly explained the situation to him. He told me to sit tight as he'll be there shortly. Seriously I don't mind being stuck with a girl,there's so much thing that I can do but it's a really bad idea to be stuck on the roadside and people who passed by that place let out teasing sounds about 'things' that we might be doing in the car. Thank God no Penguatkuasa Agama came knocking.Trust me, if I wanna do something fun, I'll get a room,thank you! (ok la, it's kinkier in the car! :p).

The 'brader' came with a saw and I started sawing off the steering lock. Took me a good 10 mins of hardwork (nak tercabut bahu!!) before I managed to saw it off. Thank God it's a cheap lock, if not i'll be having a tough time sawing it!After giving out a relief sigh , I said many thanks to the 'brader' for his help...if not for his help, I can't imagine what's going to happen that night. All my paranoia about what kind of people might be lurking there just vanished after that. Kuala Kedah people are the best!! :D Well at least I have something to remember bout my Langkawi trip...

Found the key to the lock on my table as soon as I got home....Blaaaaaaardy hell!!

Selalu, Semalam and Kelmarin

2005-12-08T08:56:00.000+08:00

I was in the Pudu terminal yesterday and saw a packet of keropok (fish cracker) written 'KEROPOK SEGERA (BOLEH DIMAKAN SELALU')Now what do you guys understand by the word SELALU used? For the benefit of putting things into context, the keropok was made and packed in Tumpat,Kelantan. If you think the word SELALU on the pack means always (sentiasa), then in this case I have to say that you're wrong. For an unsuspecting eye,to change the word SELALU with SENTIASA right there wouldn't look weird at all. However, for anyone who knows kelantan speak (cakap kelantan/kecek kelate), what the manufacturer's trying to say is KEROPOK SEGERA (BOLEH TERUS DIMAKAN). In kelantanese dialect, the word SELALU means immediately instead of always (The kelantanese equivalence of always would be SOKMO). Due to that, there may be some confusion to the real message when the word is used. Another example for the confusion regarding that word happened a few years back. My parents sent a box of mango (pauh mah ite if I'm not mistaken :p) to me when I was in a boarding school. When received, written on the box was 'MAKAN SELALU'. Apparently they were already 'masak ranum' so to speak and my dad was telling me to eat it immediately. A few friends who were there cannot understand why my dad wrote such because for them it doesn't make sense for the instruction given to 'eat the fruits always'!! I did explain but some still puzzled with the usage of the word (maybe I didn't do a good job explaining about it at that time...hope I'm doing a better job right now!).

Another example of the difference in some kelantanese words would be the SEMALAM [pronounce as sma-le (le as in lepak)] and KELMARIN [pronounce as kema-reng]. For a kelantanese, SEMALAM means last night while KELMARIN means yesterday instead of yesterday and the day before yesterday as commonly use in standard 'Bahasa Melayu'. The kelantanese equivalence for the day before yesterday would be KELMARIN DULU. Due to the difference in the meaning of these words, one is advised to be careful when talking to a kelantanese regarding the word SEMALAM and KELMARIN because the time spoken might have different meaning altogether.

Anyway those are a few example of words that can be misunderstood when used between a person using the standard 'Bahasa Melayu' and the ones who 'kecek kelate'. So, what about you guys? Any other examples of these kind of things with other languages? Do share.... :)

Closing the account

2005-12-06T14:54:00.000+08:00

Was updating my patients' record today (actually it's more of I HAVE TO do it) as part of the 'account closing' exercise.Since I started here in July, I've seen 63 patients which mean I have average of 12/month.That's hardly alot compared to how many I used to handle in Penang on daily basis 2 years ago. However, since I have to manage the unit too, I guess I can still justify my workload. Haven't had any 'smart ass' patients since I'm here so far tho.Used to have some of those too. Most of them are smart, too smart for my taste and usually I let them do the talking. Some just need a place to talk.They know more than me.. :p I rather enjoy the company of elderly patients, talking and joking to them. They tend to listen and comply more too.It just give me that good feeling whenever they come back for another appointment looking and sounding much better. That's not always the case with most patients tho. Some would follow the advice, other just can't. Some come back and some just went missing after one appointment...Basically it's the common thing, diabetes, hypertention, elevated cholesterol both in men and women, young and old...and somehow it's supposed to make me be more careful with those things but sadly to say that's not the case sometimes (most of the time??). It's like some heart surgeons still puffing on ciggies.Some people do things out of ignorance, others perfectly aware of the whole thing but still do it. We are what we wanna be regardless of what we might know...I think most of us (including me for that matter) are like that...

Anyway, am enjoying my work here, having the chance to do both management and clinical work (maybe it's not twice but more of alternating kind of headache) but i hope not to stay here that long (suprise suprise, i've been working in 3 places in my 2 years of my service, am not sure how that's going to look in my record tho!!). Now with the new Pengarah coming, hope things will get better....amin (* anxious mood of the kind of boss I might have after this)

Tribute to my Boss

2005-11-30T22:14:00.000+08:00

It's official now, my Pengarah been promoted and he's going to Teluk Intan...so people there...beware!! hahhahah, when he told the news to all the staff this afternoon, I swear I saw lots of glittering faces on hearing it...yeah he's a strict boss, up to the point of being making most of our life miserable at times in the office...the reason is, he give so much attention to details no matter how minute they are...but to tell the truth, i kinda enjoy working with the old man...i like his value of not taking bullshit from people and his almost zero tolerence for bullshit....trust me, we need more of that in government sector. He does not tolerate people slacking up and definately wants everyone to give our attention to details like he is...altho that can be a pain in the ass sometimes, at the end of the day, i would like to give him credit for making us work harder, better and always giving out quality output...he's the type of boss that you would love to hate but at the same time, he's a good boss in the sense of making the best of everyone...I'm glad to be able to experience all those and observe his work ethics...at the end of the day...he's alright :)

Kill Em All !!

2005-11-23T21:28:00.000+08:00

Went to KL last week to hangout with some friends, so to Rostam, Stell, Nalie, Helena, Naja and Adu, thanks for spending your time...It's really fun :) beside that, I also bought an Xbox..thehehehehehehe so, I don't think I'll be updating my blog as often now...busy shooting some Nazi(s)and trying not to crash the Mustang P-51 aircraft (kinda suck at it) on my spare time (just hope i wouldn't be a fat fart anytime soon!!)...am signing off right now..roger and out..

Short cut

2005-11-01T01:37:00.000+08:00

I happened to go out with a friend yesterday to look for some stuff in Kota Bharu. As always when the festive season is near, every street is jam packed with people who came back from all over the country. We were caught in a long queue at a junction with a traffic light when we left the shopping complex. My friend who happened to be driving suddenly said "hey i know a short cut to the main road from here...there should be a junction just about here..." and then we saw a car making a turn to a small street just in front of us. Confidently I said "That must be it...quick, follow that car!!". So we tailed the car in front of us along the 'short cut' when suddenly the car stopped and we realized that it's a dead end. The car in front did a U-turn and instinctively I held up the day's newspaper high to cover my face pretending I was reading it and shouted "shit...don't look at them,this is freaking embarrassing man!!".I think my friend was grinning wide when he caught the look on the other driver's face...hehehe, I wonder what they're thinking of us at that time! Honestly, I think they're as embarrassed as we were..Can't help cursing at our own 'genius plan' as we trailed the car again back to where we started!!The good thing is, we managed to find the shortcut after that. Not sure bout the other car tho...hopefully they do...

p/s: To everyone who reads this blog, I want to wish a SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI and MAAF ZAHIR BATIN if anything that was written in here hurt your feeling in any way whether it's unintentional or not... =)

Ramadhan Greatest Hit

2005-10-26T11:42:00.000+08:00

A friend got into a really bad accident and now lying on a hospital bed with a fractured hip, broken thigh bone, 2 broken fingers, a broken arm and he lost a couple of incisors (previosly he had one of the most beautiful sets of teeth) plus not to mention the badly swollen face....

He was riding his new 250cc bike from Kuantan to Kota Bharu when he hit a cow around 9 pm (that poor creature is dead on the spot) which was crossing/lepak on the road.The most mysterious part about it is, my friends's face was badly injured although he was wearing a full face helmet that night but it's nowhere to be found after the accident...the only conclusion is, the impact was so great that either the helmet halved into 2 or it just flung from his head (both of em are logically unlikely tho- please refer more to Ace the Bike Whizz)

Hopefully the guy will be better and I can safely tell you guys that it sucks to spend Raya on a hospital bad with so many broken bones.Right now, I'm going to go visit him again...poor guy...poor cow too...fu**king idiot cow owner tho!! Stupid bastard!!

I'msoblurIdon'treallyknowwhattoblogrightnow

2005-10-18T22:42:00.000+08:00

AmhavingacaseofeitherhypoglicemiaorhyperglycemiabecauseIjustcan'tseemtogetwhatIwwanttoblog
aboutoutofmyhead.Thenagain,maybeI'mjustmentallyexaustedandemotionally
confusedatthisparticularmoment!!

p/s:goodlucktryingtoreadwhatIjustwroteupthere.I'msofuckeduprightnow...

Spark or no spark...

2005-10-12T22:25:00.000+08:00

Is it possible to learn to love a person?I'm talking about 'boy meets girl' type of love.Is it just possible to do that?Is it the person?The timing?or is it just me? I had a few relationships before but none of it stretch more than a year...my problem is that,I can't go into a relationship if I can't imagine waking up beside 'that person' each day. Sure I met a few interesting people but there're some things about em that make it possible to imagine that. With some people that I can imagine, it still didn't work.That I blame on the timing and sometimes on myself (ok, sometimes it's the person I'm in love with... I've been in a relationship with someone else's girlfriend,which was next to impossible...but hopefully it's not going to be someone else's fiance or wife next time, God forbid!).

Back to my question, izzit possible try to love a person who I can't even imagine waking up to every morning?Or am I thinking (or trying to think) too far ahead?I'm not sure if I should give it a chance just to get to know and try to love a person if I can't feel 'IT'. It wouldn't take long to feel the 'spark' even if it's one sided right?So there's either a 'spark' or no 'spark' right? Is there such thing as to try make the 'spark' or wait and see if there's gona be any 'spark'? How would it be possible for me not to think too far ahead for something 'solid' in the future and not just some relationship which is uncertain to where it leads?...Anyone with advice that can help me with this?

Hazardous foods...

2005-10-09T17:02:00.000+08:00

On 2nd day of puasa, I have this menu up my head that I planned to cook and around noon, I messaged Teek telling her about the menu: 'tomyam campur', 'telur bungkus' and 'ayam goreng berempah'. The reason was because I know teek easily drools when I mentioned about yummy foods (tips of the day: the easiest way to torture her is to mention eaither about yummy nasi lemak or famous amos...it's sure to work!!). So after work, went back to my place, got into my 'naked chef' 'attire'(which is not hard to guess :p) and started preparing those foods (tho at some point, I have to put on some more clothes coz somehow there was alot of 'nyamuk' in the kitchen dat day and I have to 'dance' all over the kitchen when those buggers keep biting my legs!).

I guess it's true what my mom said that it's not really that hard to cook during fasting because eventho you just throw in the salt and sugar,(just agak-agak la) it'll work out fine even if you don't taste it!! So, I managed to cook the menu that I planned that day but the worst part about it was, after berbuka, I end up just like a walrus!! Flat from over eating and unable to go for terawih that night!Talk about hazardous food!! I guess Teek was right all along when she said I sounded like cooking for 'kenduri' that day (lesson of the day: Good food can be dangerous especially during berbuka). So now I've learned my lesson and currently would only cook just 1 or 2 type of lauk only for berbuka...

Places I spent my Ramadhan

2005-10-05T23:16:00.000+08:00

The last time I spent my Ramadhan fully at home was.....errrmm 9 years ago (I was 15 at that time). Since then it was at different places all the time.It's easier if I put it chronologically. It should be something like this...

Age Place

16 - Kota Tinggi, Johor (studying)
17 - Jasin, Melaka
18 - Bangi, Selangor
19,20,21 - KL
22 - Penang ( working)
23 - KL
24 - Kuala Kangsar, Perak

Come to think of it, it's kinda funny having to fast at different places nearly every year. I know it's just around Malaysia and I don't get to spend my Ramadhan in far away places (like London or States) but it's always a different experience (and choices of foods) everytime.However, everytime I went to the mosque for terawih, no matter where I am, the selawat(& the calling for terawih) is always the same and i feel close to home everytime listening to it..

The balik kampung part is always good since i spent most of my Ramadhan elsewhere everytime...truly a bliss...what about you guys? Any experience to share?

Ramadhan is here...again..

2005-10-03T22:25:00.000+08:00

It's official now that Ramadhan will start on the 5th and I bet that everyone will be gearing up for the coming of the blessed month.Hopefully all the 'puasa ganti' already being taken care of and if not, tomorrow will be the last day.It's been a while since the last time I start my Ramadhan at home with mum and dad.Last year it was with Sue,at her place keeping each other company as both of us were alone and far from our families.This year,I'll start my ramadhan alone again and I do mean alone this time.Already stocked some stuff in the friedge but hopefully would not be too lazy to cook em. Already got myself a siakap,stuff for making tomyam,some chicken.squids and some veggies tho I think the 1st day of bukak puasa would be with plain water and nasi with telur dadar (and maybe some ikan bilis goreng).As usual,I rarely take my sahur and hopefully my body will quickly adjust to the lack of food.Checked my schedule today and I decided to take 2 weeks holiday (it'll add up to 3 weeks with weekends,deepavali and hari raya)...3 weeks at home.Such a bliss and something I'll be really looking forward to because the last time I went back to my hometown was during Raya Haji last year. Anyway, just wanna wish Selamat Berpuasa to all and hopefully it'll be a blessed Ramadhan for all of us.

p/s: Last year was the worst Ramadhan in term of 'amal maaruf nahi mungkar' for me...hopefully this year would be much better...Insyaallah..

Bloody Pangkor!

2005-09-29T21:02:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Pangkor today after 4 days there and it was the worst 'tour of duty' that i ever had so far!! The resort that we stayed was really² bad! The room was small, the facilities were bad, the food was also bad and the service was damn slow! I know the place was still new (after the last management 'bungkus') and if they keep it up this way, they'll experience it themselves very soon! Duh, dun even wanna think about it...very the sakit hati!

p/s: maybe I went to the wrong beach, but Pasir Bogak definately failed to impress me...I don't think I'll be taking any vacation to Pangkor anytime soon! I would definately plan a trip to some east coast's islands for my vacation later!

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Reading teek's entry (click 'here' ) remind me of a stupid and embarassing incident that I had last year. It was at an opening function to a course and I was given the task to recite the 'doa'! When I was told of my task, obviously I refused because there are some other guys who would be definately better at it,(and I hate how my voice sound on the speaker) but since other people were already occupied with some other tasks, I had to do it. Just before I went to take the mic, a friend jokingly told me "wei, jangan lupa baca doa makan sama!" which I replied "Wokeh, no hal" *grinning...So I took the mic, started to recite all the doa(s) that I know and in the middle of it, I suddenly went "Allahumma barik lana..." without realizing it!! Then I suddenly panicked, stopped, cough a few times (*obviously I had to!), try to compose myself and decide to end my doa early! As I was walking back to my seat, someone near the isle said. "Wei, apa yang ko baca tadi, kitorang tak dengar la...slow sangat suara ko!" Thank God!! The moment I got to my seat, the 1st guy who joked to me bout the doa makan grinned and said... "wei, ko baca betul ehh tadi?? hahaha " ...all I said was "errrrr" and gave my kerang busuk smile obviously very embarassed of what happened. I hope he's the only one listening to what I recited! Or was there anyone else listening???!! Duhh...

p/s: nobody else mentioned anything about the doa to me... :)

My wandering mind

2005-09-24T18:17:00.000+08:00

(WARNING TO ALL READERS : This is just me writing what I was thinking at the moment the particular incident happened. I don't mean any disrespect nor making hurtful remarks to anyone especially the residents of Kuala Kangsar nor anyone involved)

Last night I went to the cyber cafe that I always frequent to after going out for a drink.It was already late and there were not many people there.At the counter there was this one 'hot' babe manning it. I seen her a few times before but previosly never had the chance to deal with or talk to her. I'm not sure whether it's just for me to say this but for the past 2 months staying here, I rarely get to see young women around in Kuala Kangsar. It's like there're the below 18 school girls and then there are the 30/40 something makciks.Maybe the 20 something young women just hide everytime I'm around because I rarely notice them around. My other theory is that, maybe most of them doesn't stay here anymore or already bearing 2 children by that age...but then again it can be all 3 tho. Anyway, back to the hot babe, she very cute and dressed in a very 'casual' manner which is a more common look in a bigger town like Ipoh or KL (again I'm not sure if my observation is just, but most of the folks/ladies in KK are still quite conservative when it comes to dressing up).I went up to the counter for I need to use my thumb drive and so I asked her whether there's any USB cable that I can use. I was looking directly at her cute face when her nice pink lips moved and she uttered the answer in a very thick Perak accent! (again, no disrespect to anyone from Perak or their accent since I myself starts adopting it in my daily conversation here).I have this thing about being confused of the place I am everytime there are lot of things around to remind me of other places. So I was kinda stunned because at that particular moment it felt like I'm back in KL when I saw her at the counter and stared at her face. Suddenly after she replied, I realised that I was still in Kuala Kangsar. I can't stop smiling after that thinking how bizarre the feeling was and how far off my conscious mind wandered when I was looking at her face. Or maybe I just miss KL... :)

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I was driving with a friend to do some groceries shopping in Ipoh when she stared close at my face and said "You have beautiful long eyelashes". There!! I'm used to hear people telling me how I have 'beautiful' long slender fingers or how soft my hands are and it was more than one occasions when they asked to trade hands/fingers with me! Trade fingers?! Bahhhh!! I know they do mean all those as compliments but should a guy be proud to hear about his 'beautiful' hands and eyelashes? *rolling eyes .I'm in no way a 'pretty' guy and hearing those words make me feel....errr....weird! Period!!

Thudddddd!!

2005-09-19T21:31:00.000+08:00

Was back at my pet family place last weekend...had to teman all the anak dara since my pet dad was admitted into the ward again. One of my pet sis wanted to go to the cyber cafe on saturday nite so I had to send her. By that time it was around 8.30 pm and as always the road was dark. It's a narrow road and I'm quite sure I was driving quite slow when suddenly i caught a glimpse of something jumping from the bush and running to cross the road. By that time it was too late for me to stop and i heard 'thuddddddd' underneath my car. Me and pet sis looked at each and I was cursing loudly knowing what i just hit! I kept on driving and we was just about to pass a thick bush and this time my headlight caught a glimpse of a boar beside the road.Kinda creepy but this time i'm glad it didn't try to cross the road!!!I'm not sure why the bushes was really 'meriah' that might.Kinda weird... After sending my pet sis, I went back and comfirmed my suspision earlier. A dead kitty was lying motionless on the road with a busted head..I'm sorry kitty...I didn't see you :( ...left me feeling sad the whole night...sigh...

Untalented plumber

2005-09-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

Been frequenting the hardware shop alot since the last 2 days (6 visits in 2 days to be exact) and the only reason for that is my not enough pvc pipe tubing/ wrong connection piece and forgot to buy a thing or two (I must be the tokey's favourite if not the most weird customer...keep popping up at his shop every 20 mins!!) All of these indicated 1 thing...thank God I'm not you neighbourhood plumber, if not the pipe leakage will still be a problem after 2 days! *Going back to finish up the plumbing work right now

Unpacking

2005-09-05T22:31:00.000+08:00

My stuff just arrived from KL but I've yet to unpack a single thing. Am supposed to assemble my bed 1st but even that is unfinished...just too damn tired. Plus i need to put on my plumber cap to make new pipe connection for the washing machine. Arghhhhh...can somebody help me unpack??? Really hate my life this very moment!

Untitled

2005-09-01T21:00:00.000+08:00

Saw Datuk Mahadzir Khir (Deputy Education Minister) and I can't help but to realise the bizarre similarity between him and Fidel Castro. It's not just the beard but his whole face (tho he's way younger than Castro). Last few months I got the chance to watch a mini series about Castro on Hallmark Channel. It's a 2 part series of the person dubbed as THE enemy by the US since JFK right until George W Bush. For the benefit of anyone who missed the series or never read about Castro, he's a lawyer who toppled down the US backed goverment of Cuba in 1960's. It wasn't an easy revolution because he failed the 1st time in which many of his rebel comrades were shot to death and he himself fled to Mexico where he met another legendary person; Che Guevara. Together they came back and took control of Cuba. He became the longest serving dictator in power since.

Ernesto 'Che' Guevara La Serna

Another legendary icon and one of the most recognizeable face in the world is Castro's right hand man; Ernesto 'Che' Guevara La Serna. For anyone who would like to know more about his pre-revolutionary life as a young man, you guys should watch 'The Motorcycle Diaries". When he was a 24 year old lad, Ernesto (or fondly known as 'Fuser' amongs his friend) was a medical student in Beunos Aires, Argentina and he took a historical journey from Argentina to Venezuela on a bike with his best friend, Alberto Granado. During this journey across Latin America he saw the hardship of the people especially the native American being driven out of their land, poverty stricken and oppressed by the capitalists. It was an eye opener experience for this educated middle class young man. Inspired by the journey, he decided to launch a revolutionary in his dream to unite Latin America. The rest as they say is history.

Young Ernesto played by Gael Garcia Bernal in The Motorcycle Diaries

Sometimes I wonder how many people out there (especially in Malaysia) who's wearing a t-shirt with Che's face really know who he was. After his death at a young age, Che was a symbol of a struggle and saint amongs the leftist (read: anti western, marxist and communist alike) around the world. In America, his face WAS the symbol of anti establishment. It was recently that it has become a fashion icon. The most ironic part about all this is, Che fought till his death to fight the capitalists but 30 years after that, he's turned from a symbol of anti establisment to a fashion icon (just like Beckam). If he can see what's happening to his face today, probably he would twist and turn in his unmarked grave in Bolivia...HUrmmmmm...

p/s: I'm not really sure why I wrote all this, just one of my mental masturbation I guess....

Cardiac Arrest

2005-08-31T10:11:00.000+08:00

Had a brush with cardiac arrest the moment I stared blankly at the car's empty glovebox.It's 3.20 am in the morning and I just realised I left my camera at the cybercafe I've been to earlier! I started to panic thinking how much money she cost me (ohh the suffering, dreadful days of famine and missing my meals after I bought her) and I might never see her again!Earlier, I went out to photograph the nicely lit Kuala Kangsar for Merdeka Celebration. Went to my usual CC taking my camera along and decided to go and meet a friend in Taiping after that.I only realised she's missing after I got home from Taiping.After 2 minutes staring blankly at the glovebox, I realised there's nothing much I can do beside waiting and checking out the CC again 1st thing in the morning. My eyes were heavy but I can't sleep and I was having tachycardia. Keep waking out throughout the night a dozen of times waiting for 9 am. Damnit!! I was standing in front of the CC sharp at 9 am. A different person manning the counter this morning; a girl. After explainning to her what happened, she helped searching all the drawers at the counter and found my beloved camera. Attached to it was a note "Ada orang tertinggal kamera nie semalam. Tolong kasi kalau dia datang balik cari" Thank God. I'm gonna personally come and thank the guy tonight! Now I can go back and sambung tido peacefully!!!!

Moral of the story: Amanah itu satu sifat yang terpuji dan pelupa itu satu sifat yang keji (menyusahkan) :)

15 Mins Patriotism

2005-08-30T22:42:00.000+08:00

I had my 15 mins of patriotism yesterday and I hope Mr Minister would be happy with it. Went shopping at Tesco, got free stick-it-to-the-car flag and I did what the Minister suggested (Can't remember why I never did that before at that particular time and drove home like a speed demon from Ipoh to Kuala Kangsar) only to found out that the Jalur Gemilang is not there anymore when i reached home. Damnit, now I remember why I never stick up the flag coz it's gonna be run over by other vehicles once something like that happened!! Well, hope my 15 mins of patriotism made me a good Malaysian according to Minister's definition! Happy Merdeka all!!

Sight and sound

2005-08-29T21:52:00.000+08:00

I attended 'Effective Interaction' course in the office. It's part motivational and part communication course.Basically I don't really believe in motivational course at this age...at least not for me...I mean how much more motivation can you take? It's all about conscience, what you want to do...it has to come from the inside. At this age, my heart is as hard as rock..tak makan motivasi dah!! Anyway,I survived the day. There are alot of singing involved today, all of em were ol skool tunes...nothing I ever heard before...One old tune got me hooked tho, 'Kasih Sayang', a catchy song by D'lloyd (err..I hope the spelling is right)...anyone here ever listened to that particular tune before?

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I really wanna go photo hunting again...current interest would be potraits, and it's really hard to do that, just to snap photos of strangers at the street. Well I tried that before and people gave their evil eyes...It would help to have a Digital SLR camera with me now...something like Olympus E-300 with nice long range zoom lense...anyone here want to sponsor that for me? Well, maybe I need a model. Anyone here who would voluntarily want to be photographed?Please let me know...

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I was reading others blog just now when there was this particular song being played...nice song, slow and kinda hauting song. Since I never heard of it before, I asked the guy manning the cc's counter. He said it's a band called HIM. I googled ( is there such word?) the net looking for that band and stumbled into 'HIM - Finnish LOVE METAL band'....I was like errrr...'LOVE METAL'? well that's something new for the day... :)

My cheeky tongue

2005-08-26T17:18:00.000+08:00

I was in the admin office trying to print out some documents when the new printer there suddenly didn't respond.
"Tengok, apa nie?Benda baru pun takleh pakai...patut la suma orang sibuk cari janda".The moment I finished that sentence,all the 'makciks' and 'akaks' there starts laughing and one akak said "Amboiii...anak bujang sorang nie!!". Sometimes I can't believe myself on how fast my tongue react and I can swear that it's my archaic reflex working instead of my brain!Yesterday was just another good example.Now that's pretty embarrassing since I don't think it should comes out like that and the reason it did because I was reading about the Normala's wedding in the newspaper a few minutes earlier!! After printing the document in the next room, I walked out of the office covering my face with it. Everyone thinks it was funny when I did that but it's damn embarrassing for me!! Ciss...sungguh memalukan!! I wonder what all of the 'makciks' talked after I got out of the office!Maybe now they think i'm a pervert in some way!! There goes my reputation! No more potential mother in laws after this...

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I watched Charlie & The Chocolate Factory last weekend.The only reason I did that was because I can only remember the part where the fat kid which fell in the choc river being sucked out in the same movie when I was a small kid. If I remember correctly, that movie supposed to be fun and funny, but after I got out of the cinema last weekend, the only think in my head was " Oh my God, Willy 'Wanker' (pun intended) is one freaky guy!!" He reminds me of sad clowns and that's scary!! I'm quite sure that if the story was written recently, it wouldn't be like that because nowadays, the moment something happened to the children, the 1st thing that'll come out of the parent's mouth would be "I'LL SUE YOUR ASS FOR THIS!!!"...and it wouldn't be funny anymore wouldn't it?

"Naik la"

2005-08-24T21:11:00.000+08:00

"Dik, nak gi mana ni? Masuk la...Saya tolong hantar" For a good 5 secs (heh!) I was dumbfounded and not sure what to say or do and the guy said "Naik la...saya ingat anak sedara saya tadi...tapi salah orang...takpela, apa salahnya...naik la...saya hantar" In that 5 secs alot gone thru my mind especially all those kidnapping scenes from the movies! So I said "Ehh takpela, tak payah susah² rumah saya depan tu je" but he keep insisting and then I just realised that I'm not in KL anymore but in Kuala Kangsar and people around here doesn't need to have some hidden reasons to be nice (no disrespect for KL people but those are some of the lessons I've learned after a few years living there).....

Actually I was walking from K. Kangsar's bus station yesterday to my place which happened to be just 20 minutes walk. Suddenly a Pajero passed me and stopped. at the roadside. I thought the man was going to ask me for direction but instead the above conversation occured. After politely declined, I did hop inside the Pajero. Tho I was dumbfounded at 1st but I did get a free ride home and It so happened that the man was living not that far from my place...The reasons I did hop in :

- It's 6.30 pm (I wasn't even dark yet)
- I was only carrying RM10
- I'm guy....what can he possibly do to me right? errrr...rite?

but there's no way in hell I'm going to do that in KL!! Anyone with similar/creepy experience regarding a stranger offering a lift??

My Boss

2005-08-19T08:43:00.000+08:00

"Don't come here telling me rubbish!! I don't believe in 'budi bicara'! Rules are rules. If you're supposed to come on the 1st, I expect you to come here on the 1st, not on the 2nd and not on the 4th!". (stern voice)

Those were the words of my new boss the 1st time I met him. There was some mixed up and I reported to him on the 4th of July instead of the 1st. It also doesn't help the fact that my boss is a well known strict disciplinarian no nonsense type of person amongs the staff at my new place! He's a firm believer that rules cannot be bend and it's important to govern people. He also believes in strict chain of command ala the military. He told me that since i'm heading my unit now, i'm supposed to be strict and firm with my staff to get their respect..and that's how he treats all his staff.

"If not one of your staff complained about you, then you are not an effective leader" (stern voice)

It made me very uncomfortable getting out from his room that day knowing I started with a wrong foot and I'm heading the unit with the most problem. After 1 1/2 month working with him,tho he's not a the easiest person to work with I did learn something new. The only thing that seperate a tyrant and a firm leader is fairness. A tyrant is an unfair firm leader and for that I'm glad mine is not one. What about your boss?

p/s: Don't come to him asking for his 'budi bicara' for that is his most hated word beside increased cost!

Darn...

2005-08-11T21:17:00.000+08:00

Darn...why do I always missed all those things that people talked about ehh? Most of the blogs I read today was about the haze!! Duhh..no haze la here!! It was the same case with the earthquake last time...I think it happened twice and on both occasion I was sleeping like a baby while everyone else was running downstairs to the car park!! The next morning when people were talking about it and asked me...i was like.. "err..ada eh?..tah la...aku tido la semalam"....boring sehh!! well maybe I'm not a danger magnet (read: lame )...but,come to think about it, it does look funny wearing those masks...hehehhe...pity those people :p I wonder if any of the people i know are wering those masks right now?! hurmm :)

It has to stop

2005-08-08T21:40:00.000+08:00

HUrm...I seriously need something to distract myself right now...stuck here without a single friend is not helping either...probably i should drink ice barley till I drunk!!Anyway, thank God footie season is starting again!! That should help...Go Arsenal!!!!!

Staring at the empty wall

2005-08-04T20:31:00.000+08:00

Felling like it's all just a dream and I just woke up from it.Just 2 days ago, the last 8 months felt soo long.In fact it felt like the longest 8 months in my life, full of bittersweet feeling. Yesterday, all those memories keep spinning in my head but it felt like it's just a dream.A long dream which I have to wake up so sudden...and I'm left trying to figure what exactly happened...this feels so weird...awkward...and it feels like there's a big hole in my chest...so empty...no more of her voice in my ears...that familiar voice which I listen so often to everyday for the last 8 months...sigh...my heart is bleeding again...or do I still have a heart?If i do, why does it feels so empty inside?...but if I don't have it,why does it hurt? ...Now I guess I know how Neo felt when he 1st came out from the Matrix...such a lonely feeling with recent memories of everything felt so distance...am helpless...somebody safe....

Lost and gone...

2005-08-02T21:23:00.000+08:00

Been workin around sick people for almost 2 years now.The thing about this kind of work is that, it's not always a good way to start a day, but the most rewarding part is when you see a sick/ injured person gets better. The downside and the worst part of the job is when a patient who is healing up well, who can already smile suddenly just...died.I had that experience before, and that's the worst way of losing a patient.My love story is like that too i guess. It started when i tried to heal an injured soul...she was injured deeply inside.I had dedicated my life since to heal her up.Just when i thought she's going to heal up nicely and able to enjoy her life again, be happy and never had to bear the pain again, she just lost it and gone. I tried to hold on to her as long as I can, but at the end,I still failed.Maybe it's wasn't meant to be...I tried my best but God has other plans for her and me I guess...I had to let her go away this time no matter how painful it is...I dunno, I should've seen it coming...but I refuse to let her go before this...now is time to let go...I have no regrets because I tried my best and she knows that too...at least I know she loved me as much.

To my dear sayang,I'll always keep your love inside no matter what happened...that's my promise to you...I wish i can do more...thanks for everythin...hope you'll heal someday and able to be happy again...maybe we wont see each other again since you're goin far away, but i believe that everythin has 'hikmah' in it...goodbye luv...

Kuala Kangsar

2005-07-23T17:54:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating sooner but this is my 1st getting online since i left KL...been busy tryin to settle down both at work and with the life there.Rent myself a house for RM260/month which is a someone's word big enough to put 12 children in there!! Enjoyin my work here tho I'm still trying to understand the politic part of it.I'm knee deep in that shit now!!Well i will update soon when i have the chance again.Chow...

Last day

2005-07-01T12:48:00.000+08:00

Today is my last day in office here in KL.Am packing up my things and will say good bye to this place after 1 here workin here.Next stop is Kuala Kangsar.Will be driving there on Saturday or Sunday. Still haven't found any place there but I'll be staying with my family angkat (read:lots of yummy foods!!).I'm not sure what's going to happen there,but I'll be updating here once I can get an internet connection there...So...see you guys again soon...Roger and out!

Thinning hairline (mood: worried)

2005-06-30T07:35:00.000+08:00

Got myself a haircut yesterday and it's beginning to be such a burdensome activities nowadays.Have to be really careful giving out the instruction to the barber not to cut that much...my hair is thinning and it's tiring not to mention giving that unnecessary worries!In my 'glorious youth' days, I used to have nice shiny black,thick long hair...well that was maybe 7 years ago.It was one thing that I'm proud about myself back then.It was the grunge heyday and having long thick hair is always a good thing...I even make fun of my dad bout his thinning hair and those people with short if not half bald head.Little did I know back then that my dad used to have that big,thick afro hair when he was young and hair loss/thinnning has something to do with genetic!! Yikes!!!That's scary!

I started to notice that more and more of my hair keep falling off during shower like 2-3 years ago....man it sucks!!Back then in my college years,I sometimes tied up my hair into small cute ponytail to class.My current version of short hair, well it wasn't like this until last year when my back then 'fling/unofficial' gf dragged me to a saloon because she didn't like my hair style...something about that long hair being out of trend or something like that! So I got this new shorter hairsyle which I didn't like that much back then but got used to.Plus that stylist told me I should keep my hair short coz it'll help with the 'masalah keguguran rambut' (sound much more worse rite?)..*Sigh (worried)

Maybe it's one of those karma thing coz I used to make jokes about his hair (sorry dad) saying that it has changed from a forest to a landing strip for small planes!! >:)...At the age of 24, I'm kinda worried about how my hair will look like in 10-15 years time.I bet by that time my wife (gf) would drag me to the hair treatment centre!!!...but I know you still gonna love me as much....rite sayanggg?? eventho I'm turning bald in 15 years time? kan??kan? :p...So...any guys a tips to solve this prob??Please share it with me!!

LOST

2005-06-29T07:27:00.000+08:00

I have a bad sense of direction. If i were one of the migrating birds, I would've end up in west instead of going south in winter.The worst part is,if i'm driving,I tend to get lost when the fuel light starts blipping!Beside that, I couldn't find the place i parked my car a few times.On Monday, I picked up a friend from her workplace and we went for a drink at Plaza Damas in Hartamas.She's been there before but not me.We parked at the basement parking, went for our dinner and after that, trying to make our way back to the car.We know we parked the car somewhere in the basement, be we couldn't get to basement.Kept moving in circles and always end up in either P1,P2 or P3.I don't know how to explain this but seriously that place is weird.It seems that not all elevator goes to basement.We spent half an hour walking in circles before finally got to the basement.Thank God I'm not alone at that time...if not, it wou've been worse and i could end up there till morning!

Last year I went to Midvelley around 10 am, and there were not that many cars yet.Did my shopping and when i came down, the parking spaces were full.Suddenly I can't remember where I parked my car. All I know is that it's beside a 'tiang' there.I still couldn't find it after almost an hour before I finally realized I parked my car at North Court but I'm looking for it at South court!! So I would strongly advised that anyone who wants to go out with me, please don't suggest a place unless you are very familiar with it coz then it would be a disaster ! Anyone of you guys had the same kind of experience??

Marketing genius (mood: sarcastic)

2005-06-27T08:36:00.000+08:00

How many of you guys here watch the local singing reality show on TV?There are many to choose from, Malaysian Idol, AF, Mentor,the one at NTV7 (which was soo bad i can't even remember what) etc. Most of them are copycats of the same show shown outside Malaysia.I seriously think that person who came up with the concept is truly a marketing genius. He/she should be given a Nobel prize or something like that.I mean, it used to be the recording company's job to invest when promoting new artistes, in fact they have to pay for the promotion, but now it's the fans who are paying for it! All those smses, not only for the 'idols' but now i noticed that people also sending smses to promote others to vote for their 'idols' in the chatspace in tv...and the charge for each sms is 50 cent!!Those smses keep coming all day long!!Darn i envy those maxis/celcom tauke!!So, at the end of the day,the telecomunication tauke(s) get richer,the winner gets to be famous, the fan...they get to cheer for the winner (plus become somewhat poorer in the process)...that's why I said, that particular person should be given a Nobel price because everyone wins (or do they? :P )

Farewell party

2005-06-24T08:17:00.000+08:00

The dapartment was having a farewell party for me yesterday.The menu: Yummy nasi beriyani (no acar tho, which was slightly dissapointed).As always, when there's a farewell party, there will be speecehes. 1st it was by my head of department, Dr J. Obviously she was talking about me...Yadayadayada...then it was my turn...I'm not that good when it comes to giving speeches...never was but i have to yesterday.Suddenly i felt kinda sad (I do want to leave this place...trust me!), but still tryin to control myself. After my little speech and thanking all the people who has been so kind to me...we bedal the nasi beriyani!! Yummy!! End up feeling really full :)...Anyway,my last day here would be on the 1st July...that's another week...one more week to Kuala Kangsar...the royal town (trying to make myself feel better!)

p/s: Anyone who wants to give farewell gifts or farewell treats,may still do so.. :p

Kingdom of Heaven

2005-06-21T07:39:00.000+08:00

I think many of you guys out there watched 'Kingdom of Heaven' recently. I watched it 2 weeks ago, a bit late thanks to constantly full booked seats in the cinema.As all know, this movie was about the 3rd Crusades made famous by Saladin (Salahuddin) and Richard the Lionheart (King of England).In this movie however, it chosed to focus on the character of Balian of Ibelin and the fall of Jerusalem.After watching the movie which was directed by Ridley Scott, I cannot help but to feel that Orlando Bloom was unable to carry the role of Belian like what Russel Crowe did in Gladiator. Moreover,other characters were not so well developed in the movie. The cinematic and battle scene was awesome tho the lines can be a bit cheesy at times.Many people commented they're suprised that this movie was not really biased towards the Muslims or the Christians and many also wondered whether Balian of Ibelin was based on a real person. I just bought a book written by James Reston Jr. called 'Warriors of God'.Here i wish to share a few things from the book.

On Balian of Ibelin:

'A tall man of noble bearing, this blueblood had for years reigned his fief well from his castle in Nablus as his father done before him'. He counseled King Guy wisely and had commanded the Templars bravely at Hattin.He had miriculously escaped the carnage and made his way to the City of Tyre.

On Guy of Lusignan (King Guy):

Married Sibylla,the widowed sister of King of Jerusalem,and was appointed King of after King Baldwin died in 1185.Like in the movie, he was a weak and hated leader.Captured in Battle of Hattin (where almost his all his army was wiped out), he was made prisoner of Saladin for 4 years before was released again.

On Rayanald of Chatillon:
The most hated man by the Muslims (enuff said!!)

On Saladdin:
'By his protection of the Holy Sepulcher and other holy sites, his tolerence of other faiths would be long remembered. His actions seemed to define what it meant to be a good Muslim.By his amnesties and various charities toward his enemies he secured forever his reputation for gentility and wisdom'.

In the real event, Balian was not a blacksmith before he became a lord in the movie, he's much older and was the captain of the old guards.He also does not have any rivalry with King Guy nor was having any affair with Sibylla.Balian also joined the Hattin Battle where the Christians army was almost wiped out but he managed to escape to Tyre.He was experienced in dealing with Arabs and personally petitioned to Saladin to go to Jerusalem and rescue his wife which was granted to him providing he wuould not bear arms and spend only one night in Jerusalem.Once he got there however, the Christian population pleaded him to take charge of the military defence.

Being a man of honor,and since he made promise to Saladin, he asked Saladin to release him from his oath which he did as Saladin was not much concerned with who leads the defence. In Jerusalem, there were only 2 true knights left and Balian knighted 60 surviving sons of eminent men to prepare the defence (as opposed to the movie where he knighted the whole city!!)

In the real event, after there was sign of breach,Balian did send emissary to Saladin and when he was uninterested, Balian threatened to destroy everythin in the city,killing all the Muslims in there and fight till the end.Since Saladin promised to take Jerusalem not by treaty but force, he told Balian that the Christians should surrender,where those who able to ransom themselves will be free and those who cannot will be taken as slaves.They negotiated and the ransom was priced at 10 gold bezants for each man, 5 for a woman and 1 for a child.

After the fall of Jerusalem, Balian take refuged in Tyre, Guy was held in prison and Sibylla died 4 years after that.As for Chatillon, he was beheaded for all his ill deeeds (he planned to attack Mecca and Medina a few years before that!!!)

Just for U

2005-06-14T13:15:00.000+08:00

Arghhhhh...

2005-06-14T11:43:00.000+08:00

Off for a 4 days course!!...and this time as the course coordinator...damn it's so fuckin mess to handle one of these courses!!!

Of fish,kenduri and Batman

2005-06-10T08:30:00.000+08:00

After suffering for more than a month, my beloved pet goldfish Lola died yesterday...well I was away and my housemate came back home and saw her floating...sad but I'm also glad she's not suffering anymore...well, maybe I'll get another fish, but not goldfish this time...they are so 'manja'...hurmm

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Went to my perak for the majlis bertunang of my adik angkat...I was kinda busy to attend it especially on weekdays but just don't want to dissapoint my mak angkat...arrived kinda late there thanks to the bus operator in Pudu with the 'ipoh skarang,ipoh skarang' tactic but I end up waiting almost an hour before the bus started moving!! (mental note:stop taking those bus with weird names!)
As always, plenty of foods and drink and kampung hospitality is the best...anyone thinkin of cutting down on weight better stay away from those.

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Watched Madagascar on vcd yesterday after I got back from Perak...hahahahha...bloody funny!! maybe not as good as shrek but it's hillarious as hell especially those psychotic penguins!!Everyone should go and watch that movie!Right now I'm really looking forward to the Batman movie mostly because the preview looks yummy...anyone wanna go and watch it on the 1st day of screening here?

Should I?

2005-06-06T10:56:00.000+08:00

I have a pet goldfish named Lola and she's one of those large headed goldfish. Lola has been sick for a couple of weeks.There 2 other goldfish sharing her tank (they belong to my housemate) and these 2 devils have been biting Lola's tails off!! Of course we didn't notice it at 1st and now, her tail is so short, she can't even float let alone swim!Most of the time now she gonna have her head straight down since it's heavy and she cannot float anymore.I seperated her from those 2 devils but she's becoming more sick .She rarely moves and now i noticed that the side of the body starts to peel off!!Well, i've been thinkin, should i put her out of her misery or just let her be like that? It's really sad to see her like this...What should i do? :( Any fish experts out there?Need help!!

Wounded again

2005-06-02T11:52:00.000+08:00

This is not good...suddenly the twist of fate just made the walls of life crumbled on top of me.All i wanted to do is make things right...just to right my own mistakes...why is everyone and the whole world seems to try and stop me? Why?What did I do to those people?I was angry just now...really pissed off...devestated...upset...*sigh

Maybe this is all my own doing.Being trapped in a room that I don't want to be and I've been trying to escape ever since.I've been smashing on every wall in the room trying to break free...tried everything, like a wounded beast and now, the whole walls just collapsed on top of me...I shud've known better...I shud've used the DOOR!!!*sigh...to use the door,I only need patience but that is something I do not have, not in tryin to right my own mistakes...and now it's taken it tolls...Maybe I'm trying to make things right the wrong way...am back at where I started...God it feels so close to being successful....

Again,fate got the best of things....and I'm licking my wound once more... :(

p/s:I got transferred to Perak, I cannot do my Master and my plan to change career has been halted until further notice....how's that?

Insaf

2005-05-30T11:38:00.000+08:00

I really need to watch my weight...maybe cut down a few pounds...I dun feel sexy about my body anymore...especially the abs...actually it's not about feeling sexy (ok..ok i'm lyin...) but I don't feel healthy anymore...

Being a health professional...I shoud take good care of myself more than what I'm doing now...Should really watch my food so I think I'm gonna start today (yeah after having nasi goreng ayam at 8 am...shishh)Gonna try strict diet this time...less oil, more veggies and more fruit (heh...bole ke?)I stopped jogging 2 months ago (now my nice running shoes is 'bertapa' in my car)with alot of excuses...now it's raining season again...but I'm gonna try my best (wait a minute...tomorrow have to go to Ipoh...damn, there goes my jogging plan *another excuse)

Hurm...still gonna start the strict diet today...feel bad about myself right now...all the best...

So dengki!!

2005-05-28T08:17:00.000+08:00

Call me crazy,childish or even stupid but right now I'm so 'dengki' with a bag of 'RM2 kelapa parut'(which I will refer to as the evil coconut),a sick cat and a family driver!The reason?? The evil coconut got to ride on a 3 series, that sick cat got to ride on a 7 series and the family driver making more money and drive a variety of cool cars!!(where did i get these stories?dun ask!) The sad part is that, being a struggling 24 yr old guy...I dun ever get to experience that!Not once...bahhh I'm so dengki right now!!

p/s: the writer felt so crappy abt it that he even tried to have a dream about squeezing every drop of 'santan' from that 'kelapa parut'(not successful so far!).That'll teach him!!

Swing with me Babeh!!

2005-05-26T12:42:00.000+08:00

Beside rock and rock n roll,i also like a dose of funk,blues and swing...now teek just gave me Michael Buble's 1st album which i've been listening for a few days in the car now and after awhile i started to have this imagination of singin those songs on stage...u know the whole swingin 60's...the suits and the bar performance thingy...the whole horns and bass sections from these songs are so damn infectious...just wanna make me do all those stage moves from those days :p...crazy i know...but can't stop imagine abt doin it myself everytime i listen to the songs...here is one of my fav..just love the music and the nice lyric...and this one goes to my dear emily...

"Fever"

Never know how much I love you, never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me, I get a fever that's so hard to bear
You give me fever - when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight
Fever - in the the morning, fever all through the night.
Sun lights up the daytime, moon lights up the night
I light up when you call my name, and you know I'm gonna treat you right
You give me fever - when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight
Fever - in the the morning, fever all through the night.

Everybody's got the fever, that is something you all know
Fever isn't such a new thing, fever started long ago.
Romeo loved Juliet, Juliet she felt the same
When he put his arms around her, he said "Julie baby you're my flame"
Thou givest fever, when we kisseth, fever with thy flaming youth
Fever - I'm afire, fever yea I burn forsooth.
Captain Smith and Pocahontas had a very mad affair
When her Daddy tried to kill him, she said "Daddy-O don't you dare"
Give me fever - with his kisses, fever when he holds me tight
Fever - I'm his Missus, Oh daddy won't you treat him right.

Now you've listened to my story, here's the point I have made:
Chicks were born to give you fever, be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade
They give you fever - when you kiss them, fever if you live and learn
Fever - till you sizzle, what a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.

The Contender Champ

2005-05-26T08:00:00.000+08:00

Sergio 'The Latin Snake' Mora was crowned as The Contender on 24th May 2005 after fighting a tought 7 rounds match with Peter Manfredo Jr.I wrote in my blog earlier that i really like Sergio coz he's a smart guy and vary good boxer and he really proved it in the final match. Altho Peter was the favourite in the final match, Sergio managed to fightback with a mental game and nice combinations.Peter was throwing more solid and powerful punches in the early rounds but after round 4,it was Sergio's turn to release powerful combination and uppercuts while maintaining his speed against the tired Manfredo.Sergio Mora really did it and he's the only boxer out of 16 who never have to hang his glove thruout the episodes.Kudos too to Alfonso Gomez who has beaten Jesse Brinkley for the Bronze Medal.Altho it's a close fight but Fonso was clearly doing better than Jesse.He's my second fav to Sergio with his humble attitude but powerful combinations.

The USD 1 million fight between Sergio Mora and Peter Manfredo Jr

Champ Sergio 'The Latin Snake' Mora

My fav boxer..Sergio Mora

Fight for Bronze Medal between Alfonso Gomez and Jesse Brinkley

2005 FA Cup Winner

2005-05-24T07:30:00.000+08:00

Arsenal just snatched the Cup from ManU.It wasn't Arsenal best game but i guess this is a payback for ManU, the kind of slap in the face they gave Arsenal a few times when they dun play good games yet still won due to penalty (by diving in the box or with a lil help from the ref).At least Arsenal showed some heart and played 120 mins and earned the penalty instead of diving to get one...so when ppl said that ManU deserved it, i think that Arsenal deserved it as much...if not for a solid game, then maybe for a solid determination...looking forward to a new season, a new stadium and the Charity Shield match with Chelsea...viva Arsenal

Lehmann stopping Scholes shot

Post match celebration

Hero of the day

Interview session

2005-05-20T11:30:00.000+08:00

Below are the questions given by Teek...

1. why cant you bring yourself to read books? esp novels?

Well i love reading so guess u r asking me why i dun read novels rite? Well i stopped reading fictions coz...suddenly i got sick of all the nasty things that happened to the main character!!! It was like the whole world are against em!!In real world nuthin that bad can happen...I dun think God the Merciful will test anyone like that...only human can come out with something that nasty!!So nowadays i just read autobiog or abt sumthing that really happened...or with sum truth in it...not fictions...

2. If you can spend a day with an Arsenal player, who wud it be and why?

Errr...can i have the whole squad??HUrm..1 player? then it'll be Henry...not only he's a superb player (all rounder)...listening to his post match interview will tell u that he's a smart person...the way he talks and the things he talked abt...very humble guy i must say...

3. One click of a camera left, between skimpy clothes, mid baring race gal and me, who wud u choose to take the last pic with and why? (no need to ampu, be honest :) ahahaha)

To be honest,I'll take the last pic with u coz i never met before plus there's nuthin special about taking pics with the race gal...can take pics with em anytime whatt??

4. If you can change anything about you or your life, what would it be? and change it to what?

If i can change anythin about my life, hurm i wudn't take science stream thu s ending up doin somethin i can but i'm not enjoyin like rite now.I wud want to do sth related to arts...i think i wud've enjoyed it more...

5. Would you commit crime for your girlfriend? (like...i dunno.. somekind of expensive clothing *STEALING* to give it to her)

Well, i dun think i need to steal sum expensive(how expensive r we talking abt?) clothing for my gf...she knows who i am and what i can afford :) so i dun have to pretend being sumone i'm not...well it wud be nice if i can afford sth expensive.I wud definately buy her (i'm sure i can later!!) those, but i wudn't steal it la...if there's one thing that i stole, then it's her heart...is it a crime dear?? :p

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The official interview game rules
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me" (I personally don't encourage it coz I don't think i can think of 5 different questions per person)
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Asian Festival of Speed

2005-05-20T11:20:00.000+08:00

Went to the Asian Festival of Speed at Sepang last weekend...me and a couple of frenz and we got there at 9 which was already full of ppl...well just wanna share sum photos from the event....

Initial D twin car parked outside...kinda kewl

Formula BMW race...

A busted 911 after one of the Porsche Carrera Cup....one was even on fire(literally) during the race

In the pit...i dunno what's the name of the team tho...definately not ferrari

The sexiest babe on the track that day *drool

Vote for the best Race Queen (a.k.a umbrella girl)

Another section of umbrella girls...

After RAce PArty...and the track was really really hot!!No kidding!!

The gals were havin fun....and so were we!! :)

Kinda fun la hangin out that day...the guys, the cars, the gals...the horrible part was the bloody hot sun!!I really dun need extra tan!!

Manchester United Ep III: Revenge of the Glazers

2005-05-14T08:46:00.000+08:00

Not so long ago, in a football galaxy far far away, the fall of the old football republic is inevitable.The new emperor has arrived marking the establishment of the new empire.Turmoil and the state of uneasy is engulfing the whole galaxy.The loyal subjects of the old republic are tryin to rebel to this coup but so far little has been achieved.The power of the darkside is strong and the declining power of the football jedi here is very obvious.One can only expect the worst in this saga...

Emperor Glazer

p/s: the author is a loyal subject to arsenal republic...it's sad to see what's happening to Man U...yeaahhh rite!!!! :p Can't wait for the FA Cup final!!

Hot chics anyone?

2005-05-13T12:31:00.000+08:00

I was watchin Discovery after work last 2 days ago about one indegenous tribe of Papua New Guinea.It's about their Pig Feast, kinda like a big celebration in the tribe where they gonna slaughter 1 or 2 pigs (no not ur average pink, but the smaller hairy ones) for the whole village + other invited tribes. Well, not that much meat to go around by our obesity/diabetes prone society standard but it's enuff for them i guess. Now these tribes, they dun wear much clothes(see pic),and i guess being isolated from outside world (they live very much like their forefathers before them)they're not into our fashion fad.
Back to the Pig Feast, after the whole slaughtering, cooking and feasting, they have this dance in a specially built hut where both the men and the women gonna dance (in jumping style).The dance started from dusk till dawn (heheh...talk about hardcore clubbers!!) so that both men and women (it's normal for a man to take up to 5 wives there) can flirt. It'll end up with couples goin into the woods to 'get to know each other' (whateva that mean). The most interesting part bout this documentary is when a few men said sth like "i'm so excited coz there will be alot of BEAUTIFUL women tonite during the dance". Since these guys never had any TV dun interact much with the outside world, their perception of beautiful hot chics is very much different from the rest of the world. In the days where thousands of miles are not that far anymore, almost all the world population have a standard mindset of beauty. Ask anyone and almost all wud describe physical beauty as fair, tall, well shaped body with the face of a model.However, i do believe that our beautiful model wouldnt be that 'hot' in those tribes.Maybe our beauties wud be the last pick to go into the wood with the men there!Maybe the gals in the pic are their hot babes there!!Well...hot chics anyone?? :)

Venus

2005-05-10T08:52:00.000+08:00

Was listening to Air on the car today,and this is a really nice song by them...

VENUS

You could be from Venus
I could be from Mars
We would be together
Lovers forever
Care for each other

You could live in the sea
And I could be a bird
We would be together
Lovers forever
Care for each other

If you wear an illusion
I will make it real
We would be together
Lovers forever
Care for each other

If you walk in the sun
I will be your shadow
We would be together
Lovers forever
Care for each other

p/s: since u listened to part of their song last nite, just wanna dedicate this song to my dear aisha emily :) je t'aime

Happy Mother's Day

2005-05-09T07:41:00.000+08:00

1st of all I wanna wish Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers (I know some of my frenz are already joining this exclusive club).Mothers are special and they shud have one whole day for themselves...in fact, everyday shud be about them...especially for big babies like us!! Well i did send a sms for my mom wishing her Happy Mother's Day, telling her how much i love her,thanking her for being a great mother and wishing her the best.Well the reason I sent her the sms instead of calling her is quite embarassing i guess...been brought up in my family (sum wud say a typical conservative malay family)...we dun really say the word 'love' that much tho we do love each other...i dunno if any of u guys hvaving the same thing in ur family...i love my mom and my dad...and the rest of my siblings, but seriously i dunno how to say it out loud in front of their face of how much i love them...i really wanted to do that for the longest time, but it just stucked in my throat everytime i wanted to do that!!I dun have a problem about expressing my love but i just dunno how to do it in my family...u know the 'i love u' thingy...and a nice warm hug....the best that i can do is kiss their hands (by god i just want to hug them sumtimes)...hurmm...well when i have children later...i'm gonna tell them how much i love them everyday and i'm gonna start hugging them...i guess that's the only way to make it easy for them to do the same...i dun blame my parents...i know they love me so much and i love them too, but that's just their style and i'm quite sure my grandparents were like that too to them...so in that case, better luck next year...oh...and i just wanna say that I LOVE U MOM!! :)

BTN Course

2005-05-05T08:51:00.000+08:00

I went for a Biro Tata Negara course in Ulu Sepri (US) Rembau,N9 lst month. The main 'purpose' for this kind of camp is to give 'correct information' on govermnet to all the civil servants, students and anyone who they can get their hands on...lectures in the course obviously about the achievements of governments,clarification on certain 'issues' etc yada yada yada...hehhe...imagine 5 days of that and an exam at the end of it...fun?? hehe...yeahh rite...

The 'jeram' beside our dorm...kinda kewl.

This camp is located deep in some ladang kelapa sawit in Rembau. Hehehe, if they built our boarding schools and MRSM in this kind of place, i'm sure there wouldnt be cases of the students go out at night 'lompat pagar'.The camp is great tho it can be bloody hot at times there plus all the irritating bugs. Beside that it's all good

Funnyman Shah

Well i met loots of great guys there...this time it's different from the last time i attended sth like this (i.e kursus induksi)...i mean tho most of the guys here are older than me(still below 30 yr old)...most of them are gila2 and gila selamba type...not to mention lots of jokers here...so we end up making lots of noise and laugh most of the time...

Yeahh..most of us look like a bunch of schoolgoing students...hehe...obviously i'm not in not in this photo

Beside lectures on those things that i mentioned above, we also have classes...or simply 'Latihan Dalam Kumpulan' (LDK)...and mine is LDK 4...as u can see, those are the guys in my group...come from various background...PTD officer, doctor, nurse, engineer, town planner, theatre guy etc....so when we were given the chance to give our opinion on certain issues, i'm quite suprised that most of em kinda like agreed with each others....well except for a few (including me i guess)...that's when the whole joke of "abisla...dpat notice tukar gi Sarawak in 24 hr la" everytime one of the few gave a 'controversy'statement/opinion on things discussed...hehhe...

My buddy Reza tryin to complete his 20 push ups

We also have those early morning roll calls and were given marching lesson...it's funny it felt so easy this time coz i used to cursed everytime i had to march in my school days...i mean it's so bloody hard to do it back then!! plus we have some aerobic exercise every mornin that comes with a song that was known among us as 'lagu lari lagi' with funny lyrics that goes like "lari, lari...lari lagi...agar kuat, urat kaki...lari, lari...kita lari"...so at the end of the course...most of the guys were humming that highly addicted tune :D...oh..and we also have physical assesment like push ups and a bunch of other stuff...and the 2 km run (where i got 3rd place :p..hehe..nak gak berlagak)...it's all very tiring everyday...no wonder i really have big appetite there...the food was not that bad...so i end up tambah my nasi every time....

Anyway...being to that particular BTN was really a nice experience in a way...i mean compared to all the camps that i've been before...this is definately the best....good bapak2 jurulatih, really selamba and funny frenz...it all really helped...it wud be a camp that i'm going to remember for a long time....

Back with a vengence

2005-04-14T15:51:00.000+08:00

Hehe...nah, the title means nuthin actually, but my last post was on 23rd March...really i dunno how many read my blog, and to be honest, i really dun care...it's just my way of venting things out.Past few months have been a weird experience, and i guess i dun really write that much due to a couple of reasons...yeah been busy is one of it, but i wasn't THAT busy all the time...maybe most of my time was concentrated on a special sumone...and i'm glad i did that...again, maybe that's one of the reason i dun vent much here...been venting sumwhere else :D...

I'm used to wonder why do ppl dun really care much about things around them (in a way la) at certain level of their lives.Not that they dun want to, but other things become THE priority in life i guess....maybe i'm having the same syndrome...i do think i have the symptoms...the changing of priorities is sth very normal for everyone...it's just a matter of time.I used to see things in a different way coz it was a different ball game altogether.Things changed lately and what i mean by that is the angle i see life.It's still pretty much the same things, about being better,succesfull,being happy and the whole idea of greatness in life.Lately i think i did a few alterations in the way i see and try to achieve all those.Simply to accomodate another person that i wanna share all those with.Life is funny, u lose sum but u win sum back...heh, i dun think it's about losing and winning at all anyway.When i'm used to be selfish and self centered, i think i'm more considerate now, i'm used to be very sceptical in life, now i do have faith in certain things (ok la...i'm still sceptical abt lots of things :D)...all i'm tryin to say, i lost sum bits of my old self....and i gained sumthin new...losing and gaining do have some effects on my life...all the things that i lost and gained have both good and bad in it...depending on how u see it....everythin is like a coin. It has 2 sides but the value of the coin is still the same no matter which side u see it....

I'm grateful to God for giving me this chance...to see things in different view and i just realized that along the way i've been missing certain stuff too...good stuff that i enjoy...now it's just a matter of pickin up few pieces,drop sum, and enjoy this newfound gifts that i have... :) simple truth is that...am just plain happy now...

The Contender

2005-03-23T13:30:00.000+08:00

Hurm, dah lama gila x update blog.Been kinda busy+malas lately.Now it's always lepak2 at home watchin tv je...hoho, but am not a potato couch and the only reason i can't be called that coz i dun have a couch!!Talking abt TV, i think my fav show now is the Contender, the boxing reality show. It's one of the best reality show shown on tv so far i guess.

Anyway, what's really great bout all these boxers is that, altho all of em are tough guys, damn brave,a fighter in all sense, all of em cried when the lost the match. (except that cocky Ahmed Kaddour) The reason that they cried was because they felt like they let their loved ones down.U see, all of these guys are ppl who comes from poor families.Boxing is the only way/thing that they know/good at so that they can earn money for their families. I was quite shocked to know that almost all of em are really family type of person contrary to the savage and violent image of a boxer.I guess cryin when it comes to our loved ones is the thing that makes us human. No matter how tough we are, but when it comes to the person that we really love and care, even tough men cry.Am surely not saying that we shud cry all time esp men, but sometimes, some things are worth cryin for....and we shud not be ashamed about it...

p/s:I really like sergio...i think he's smart...and plus he can really box!! damn good boxer...

Off to PD (again!!)

2005-03-14T09:16:00.000+08:00

Am off to PD (again!!) till 18th march...so, i wont be around all week long...hope to take sum photos there (if sempat)...take care all...bye

2 weeks

2005-03-08T08:27:00.000+08:00

INCUBUS - Aqueous Transmission

I'm floating down a river
Oars freed from their holes long ago
Lying face up on the floor
Of my vessel
I marvel at the stars
And feel my heart overflow

Further down the river
Two weeks without my lover
I'm in this boat alone
Floating down a river named emotion
Will I make it back to shore?
Or drift into the unknown

Further down the river
I'm building an antenna
Transmissions will be sent
When I am through
Maybe we can meet again
Further down the river
And share what we both discovered
Then revel in the view

Further down the river
I'm floating down a river

2 weeks more without you...sigh...je m'ennuie de vous tellement chéri

Yucks

2005-03-07T14:04:00.000+08:00

Had a darn long morning!!! My lunch sucked!! Aduii bila la nak ada org prepare nice yummy lunch for me nih...tak larat dah tadah mulut mkn kat canteen tuh!!The weird part of it...the lauk suma licin by 12.30 pm...i guess other ppl here are just too malas to go out like me...apa yg ada, belasah je lah...well i dun know how long i can keep up torturing my taste buds like this!! Sigh...

:)

2005-03-04T08:26:00.000+08:00

"Accidentally In Love"

So she said what's the problem baby

What's the problem I don't know

Well maybe I'm in love (love)

Think about it every timeI think about it

Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this?

Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love)

Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love

Come on, come on

Turn a little faster

Come on, come on

The world will follow after

Come on, come on

Cause everybody's after love

So I said I'm a snowball running

Running down into the spring that's coming all this love

Melting under blue skies

Belting out sunlight

Shimmering love

Well baby I surrender

To the strawberry ice cream

Never ever end of all this love

Well I didn't mean to do it

But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning

Mean we're never alone,

Never alone, no, no

Come on, Come on

Move a little closer

Come on, Come on

I want to hear you whisper

Come on, Come on

Settle down inside my love

Come on, come on

Jump a little higher

Come on, come on

If you feel a little lighter

Come on, come on

We were onceUpon a time in love

We're accidentally in love

Accidentally in love [x7]

Accidentally I'm In Love,

I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love,

I'm in Love,Accidentally [x2]

Come on, come on

Spin a little tighter

Come on, come on

And the world's a little brighter

Come on, come on

Just get yourself inside her Love ...I'm in love

To a special person, for a special reason...

Isn't it ironic?

2005-03-02T08:23:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how things can turn in just a blink of an eye sometimes, and at the moment that we least expected. It's been raining for the past few days now...and just last week, it was said in TV, newspaper etc that we're having this really dry season. Forest was burning, water level in dam and river was dropping and suddenly it just it just started to rain...heavily!! Last 2 days, at around 4 p.m, suddenly the skies blackened and the rain starts pouring down...I was driving home and it felt like driving thru a waterfall...i can't even remember the last time i experienced sth like that...how ironic when ppl were complaining abt how dry the weather was just 2 days before that...

I guess such thing can happen to us too...i mean, sometimes we feel that things are all good, run smoothly...but suddenly, without a warning...bamm, just like that and everything started to turn the opposite way...it 's like WTF just happened??!! Well everythin happened for a reason, and sometimes it's beyond our control and certainly not our fault at all, but it still happened. Nuthin much we can do about those...if we make a mistake, we can always try to make it right but what can u do to something that's not ours?? As for me, when it comes to ppl/things that are important to me, i will always try and fix it. Sometimes it's beyond my capabilities to do so resulting in much worst condition...that's when i fucked it all up...sometimes some things will resolve by itself but by tryin to do sth abt it, it's just gonna get worse...but hey, it's just bloody hard to just sit and not doin anythin!!

I just hope things around me will get better and i should learn to hold myself back from doin anythin with a good intention but resulting in a much worse condition. Sometimes it's just a crime to be nice or friendly. There are times where the act of tryin to be nice, or friendly or even caring is being considered as tryin to be nosy and irritating. Well that's just the way of the world, ppl and things in it i guess. Heck, i did it myself sometimes!!Havin said all that, the world is just full of suprises and we never know what the future holds...hope it holds good things for me and for the ppl that i care.

Missing U!!

2005-02-25T14:26:00.000+08:00

Missing a particular sumone and the only song I can relate to now is 'I Miss You" by Incubus...

I miss you

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,I miss you.(?)
I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.

I miss u dear......

Darn

2005-02-23T07:29:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since the last time I wrote sth in here. I dunno if there's still anyone readin this but the reason there's no new entry for quite some time is that I've been a bit busy...plus there's sth wrong with the server here for the whole of last week...well, all the things add up I guess...but come to think of it, I can't think of anythin wrothwhile to write in here anyway...been much focusing on certain things lately tho i dun think i'm gonna share abt those details...anyway...maybe i'll write sth soon...my head has been fuc**d up lately kot...well am signin off now...

Taking Photos

2005-02-07T15:12:00.000+08:00

Got myself a new camera and i wanna get into photograpy...as another hobby...so last saturday i went for photohunting in Taman Tasik Titiwangsa in KL, just nearby my place...darn it's not easy to get a decent shot, even for still objects; too much light, unsteady grip resulting in blurred photos etc...when it comes to moving object, it was worse...by the time i setup the cam and able to take the shot, the birds were already sitting on the branch instead of flayin, i got the horse's butt instead of the head and the tortoise dissapeared. I really salute to the ppl who can take good and interesting photos...coz it requires certain amount of finesse and reflex...I'm too darn slow last time...and still alot more to learn abt the technique before getting a good result...hehe..might even take years i guess...but i do enjoy it...do visit my new photoblog and leave the comments there...a suggestion to improve the photos are most welcome...visit www.hadess.blogspot.com

My new babe

2005-02-04T13:36:00.000+08:00

Hehehe..just got myself a new babe...Kassandra...errmm...still tryin to get to know her...and still tryin to figure up things about her...the right way to handle her...gonna spend the whole chinese new year holiday with her...muahahaha...besttt!!

p/s: Kassandra is a Panasonic FZ-20 digital camera la :D

Mean Machine Pt 1

2005-01-15T11:35:00.000+08:00

AKAGI

(Kure Dockyard, April 22nd, 1925)
Displacement: (1941) 36,500 tons (standard); 41,300 tons (full)
Complement: 1340
Length: 855.3 ft
Beam: 102.9 ft
Draught: 28.7 ft
Aircraft: 91
Guns:
4 x 8"/50 cal in 2 twin mountings(as built)
6 x 8"/50 cal in 6 single mountings(as built)
10 x 8"/50 cal in 10 single mountings(after mid 1930's reconstruction)
12 x 4.7"/45 cal in 6 twin mountings(as built)
16 x 5"/40 cal in 8 twin mountings(after mid 1930's reconstruction)
25+ x 25mm(after mid 1930's reconstruction)
30 x 13.2mm
MGArmour:
Main Side Belt 11" belt Deck Armour 0.5" to 2.3"
Flight Deck Armour 1.5"
Machinery: Geared turbines. S.H.P. 133,000 = 28.5 kts.4 shafts.
Fuel: Coal + oil.

Notes:
Originally laid down on 6th Dec., 1920, as battle cruider of 42,000 tons, but converted into aircraft carrier as result of Washington Treaty. Funnels are arranged on starboard side so that the foremost (which is internally divided into four) is trunked outward and downward amidships, while the second projects slightly above flight deck abaft of the first. Though she has accommodation for 50 planes, only about 30 are carried normally. There are 2 aircraft lifts on starboard side, one abaft funnels and a smaller one right astern.

Sister ship, Amagi, laid down at Yokosuka Dockyard, and launched late in 1922, was so badly damaged by earthquake and fire, September, 1923, that her construction was abandoned, and Kaga`s hull was appropriated to replace her.
Sunk in Battle of Midway 4/6/1942.

Pesa's additional notes:
I'm a big fan of WW2 including the naval battles. My favourite naval fleet would be the Imperial Japanese Navy. They have the most impressive fleet of all the warring nations. Altho it was defeated and wiped out in Battle of Midway, it's still by far the best fleet. This particular carrier is on of the 23 carriers in the IJN. It served as the flagship for Admiral Yamamoto taskforce responsible for the attack of Pearl Harbor alongside other carriers such as Kaga, Shokaku, Zuikaku, Soryu and Hiryu. Japanese carriers are by far the most gorgeous compared to other carriers of the American, British or Germany. Home to the 'air samurai' (kamikaze pilots of the Zero fighter and Kate divebombers), it's one of the reason the Japanese lost the naval battle after 2 years of the WW2. After the 2nd year, due to the unconventional and brave tactics of the pilots who dives down to enemy ship when they were shot down instead of tryin to bail out, Japan lost many of it experienced pilots and unable to sustain the depleted pilots.

You and Me Song

2005-01-15T08:26:00.000+08:00

This is a song that was released when in 95/96...I was in F2 at that time...really kewl and poppish song by Wannadies...you guys should listen to it (was listenin to it in the car this mornin, and it makes me smile everytime)

You and Me Song (Wannadies)

Always when we fight, I try to make you laugh
until everything's forgotten, I know you hate that
ba ba ra ra ba ba ba ba ba ba ra ra ba ba ba ba
always when we fight, I kiss you once or twice
and everything's forgotten, I know you hate that
I love you Sunday sun, the week's not yet begun
and everything's quiet and it's always
you and me, always, and forever you and me, always,
and forever ba ba ba ba ba it was always,
you and me, always
you tell me I'm a real man, and try to look impressed
not very convincing but you know I love it
then we watch TV, until we fall asleep not very exciting,
but it's you and me and we'll, always,
be together you and me, always, and forever
ba ba ba ba ba it was always, you and me, always,
and forever you and me, always, and forever
ba ba ba ba ba it was always, you and me, always,
and forever ba ba ba ba ba ba ra ra

Seeing Double?

2005-01-14T15:22:00.000+08:00

The twins of Pak Chu... I still can't differentiate the 'abang' and the 'adik'...

Blackout

2005-01-14T14:14:00.000+08:00

I'm sure most of you guys aware of yesterday's blackout.Well that's not a rare experience for me since i started workin in Bangsar. This blackout incidents sometimes happened once a month or more here. The most ironic fact about it is that the TNB HQ is located here in Bangsar. Yesterday blackout was quite bad, tho not as bad as the one that happened in 97, nonetheless it revealed lots of flaws in TNB operation which according to the guy who gave the press statement (2nd in command if i'm not mistaken) certified by consultant as ROBUST. So much for that...
One of the most important issue beside domestic (i.e the traffic jams, no aircond etc), it also revealed quite a few facts that i didn't know about before. Like the one in KLCC on how some of the ppl workin on the HIGHEST building in the world have to walk down the 63rd floor using the stairs. I dunno if that is standard procedure in all buildings but shouldn't they somehow have a backup power system using generator? As far as i know, the only time it's unsafe to use the elevator is if there's any fire in the building. The same can be said about the report that the water levels in a few water resevoir in Selangor went down to critical level.Again, shouldn't there be any generator to make sure the pump keep on working? Thank God TNB managed to make sure all the sytem running up again in 4 hours. Imagine how it would be like if it took them 12 hours or more to do that if it's in a larger scale incident. The whole of Klang Velley would dried up by then!!! I'm no expert in power management but strategies should be rethink, action should be taken and close watch should be implemented to all these problems...this is not just about TNB failure to make sure everythin workin fine. We should at least have some sort of mechanism that's able to sustain the operation of the vital installations throughout the country in case of incident like this.

Sick day

2005-01-13T15:21:00.000+08:00

Overall, today is a bad day...i stop believing in something i used to,hearing a not so good news from a fren, blackout in the afternoon and feeling really worried about someone dear to me...ohh...and it's been a gloomy day since noon...sigh...what's wrong with today anyway?

p/s: ikraam...whateva that u've been thru lately...i hope u'll be ok man...counting on u to stick with me man...

To my Evil Queen of Cakes (Childish mode)

2005-01-12T10:30:00.000+08:00

Cheesecake soldier in full combat uniform

p/s: You know who u are.. :p...here's your soldier that i promised u...ehehe...i can clone them like...below...all we need now is your costume and you're all set to take over the world!!

Grande Armee of Her Majesty the Evil Queen of Cakes

Breaking Free

2005-01-11T14:14:00.000+08:00

Surfing On A Rocket

2005-01-11T09:52:00.000+08:00

Conspiracy theory

2005-01-10T13:40:00.000+08:00

I know it's kinda late to talk abt this...it's last weeks's news...was plannin to write it last week, just dun have the time. It's about how the Malaysian football team still losing to the Indonesian despite leading with 3-1 aggregate at half time. Well i have this conspiracy theory abt it. You see, if u guys noticed that nite...Najib was there to give his support to the team, and Malaysia was playin quite well till half time. We defended well and at time giving some serious threat to the Indonesian keeper. However, after the half time everythin changed. Well i'm quite sure if there's any close circuit cam in the Malaysian dressing room,I'm sure we all can see how Najib went into the dressing room, congratulate our players and then went on how we shud 'purposely' losing to our neighbour who just being wrecked by the tsunami... i mean to beat them that nite wud be like kickin a person who's already flat on the floor...i'm sure there's this high level conspiracy to lose purposely and help lift the indonesian spirit back there....make sense rite?We Malaysian has always been considerate toward others. So to all the Malaysian fans out there, dun be soo sad..it's almost beyond anyone wildest dreams that we can still lose that nite...

p/s: havin said all that, if there's any SB officer readin all the stuff i wrote...am just kiddin man...u know i ain't serious abt Najib tellin our players and stuff...we all know that Malaysian football team sucks rite?? :p

Shape, colours and lights...

2005-01-06T14:39:00.000+08:00

Seeing pink...

Young Gunners

Unidentical Twin Tower

Blue eyed boy's view...

Logistic problems

2005-01-03T11:18:00.000+08:00

I do think that the condition in Indonesia and other affected countries by the tsunami is getting worse...and the far worse news is that, it's really hard to help them...sure we can send the whole cargo of food supplies, but the question is, how to make sure the victims get all those. Indonesia is by far a larger country than us...that the logistic part of dropping all that supplies to those vast land must be a headache!! Even we in Malaysia have those small remote kampungs...so i can't imagine how Indonesia wud be...they have thousands of islands..and i do think they have hundreds if not thousands of remote villages in the affected areas...they wud've run into the jugle in some cave rather than stayin put in the flatted house! Tho i do think asians are not really 'manja' when it come to eating stuff in extreme condition especially the rural folks, however health is such a big issue now.It's really sad watchin how thousands of rotten corpses being pushed into one big hole...no way to identify, no names, nuthin, nobody to pay respect to them...if not, they have to deal with the whole disease from the dead issues...terrible...
How lucky we're in Malaysia (despite the 70+ death toll) compared to them...the fact that it didn't hit us that bad (tho losses is at hundreds of millions) and i do think Malaysia has the right size compared to our neighbours...we're not too big nor too small for disaster management. If the tsunami hits Singapore, due to the size, the whole country will be wiped out...clean!! In Indonesia's case, we can see how hard it is to handle the logistic to a highly populated and big country! I hope we dun have to do a large scale disaster management ever but if we need to,i'm sure the good guys of our uniform bodies out there are on their toes all the time (i hope so mann...for the sake of everyone!!). We definately have to find a solution to our delivery system (yup...system, the only thing malaysia lack of altho we have best infrastructures in the region...the whole good-hardware-without-the-software thingy) in everything and especially at times like this. Even the US have this problem (i.e the highest cause of death is due to delivery system-meaning sometimes it's al the forms needed, clearence issues etc in emergency state that kills ppl). So i imagine, we need to be flexible and maintain a good delivery system in disaster management like now. Funds can be set up quickly, clearence can be issued faster and all those stuff...if not it's gonna be really, really bad..

It's all crap!!

2005-01-03T07:59:00.000+08:00

I just realized that after all these time...i've been writing crap on this blog...when i said crap, i'm talking bout things i wrote bout myself...hell, this is not a diary...it's supposed to be a journal!!...look at the header up there!!"From the eyes of a mad man
This journal contains my observation on things thats happening around me and the way I see them..."<-----it's supposed to be my observation on things...not on me!! i dunno why the hell i keep talking about myself...!!i dunno when it started but my suspicion is, it's after that war entry i think...i talked bout myself, things i do everyday,put pictures of my place n my pet...what the fuck whas i thinkin??that's so damm pathetic and embarrasing!!i'm suppose to write bout things...not abt me!!i was supposed to write opinions and i dunno since when i've become too cautious abt it...there was even an entry about adult stuff which i wrote "warning, adult material!!"....man, what was i thinkin? this journal is for me...i shudn't even care what the heck other ppl think abt it...it's my own goddamn opinion! *sigh...guess i lost the plot myself...HUrm,been makin a fool out of myself alot i guess...thank god somebody pointed it up to me....maybe this is one of the ageing symptoms...i used to be very idealistic abt stuff...tryin to think outside the system and shit...now look where i am....i'm just part of the system, talk abt my so called 'good' life...shishhh...bunch of crap...it's just one of those matrix thingy i guess...anyway...my new year resolution is to stop writing bout myself on this blog...and i hope to write sth (good or bad) bout other stuff...I hold no significance in this universe,but maybe my thought is :) Happy New Year to everyone, may God bless u all...Cheers !!

Getting older...

2004-12-29T15:35:00.000+08:00

New year's comin and i'll be 24 soon...aiyaa...gettin older but not any closer to my dreams...but come to think of it...i'm not really that old!! :p Talking abt old...wanna show u guys the oldest member of the family, my copy of 'The Mayor of Casterbridge', a novel by Thomas Hardy which will turn 97 yrs old this 1st January...got it last 2 years i think...kinda proud to own a book that old (kinda fragile tho)...

Kinda fragile huh??

1907...cool huh??

Tsunami

2004-12-29T11:09:00.000+08:00

Am not tryin to jump on a band wagon abt that tsunami thingy...but i feel bad abt it. The reason i said that, the 1st time i heard abt the tsunami after the earthquake, i was thinkin "alaaa...ombak sket2 pun nak kecoh ke?" but when i watched the news that nite i was like.. "holy shit...that's bad!!" Feelin sorry for all those victims...especially in Malaysia...i think the death toll is nearly 60 now...and that poor guy lost all his 5 children...i read once that due to the density of water which is 60 times more than air (if i'm not mistaken)...the impact of the wave that surfers ride is like a brick wall comin down on top of their head...so try to imagine that big ass wave comin on top of those poor kids on the beach...i bet sum of them died of injuries and not because they drowned (*Al-Fatihah)..I do agree with what Pak Lah said...we need a tsunami early warning system...i'm sure if we can't afford it, we shud cough sum money and share the cost with thailand and our other neighbours...coz they gonna need it as much as we do...it's always better to prepare for the worse..

Runnn...runnnn (we definately need the early warning system!!)

hurmmm

2004-12-28T08:11:00.000+08:00

I did something horrible yesterday...not in a million years can i imagine doin that kind of thing...but i did...not exactly proud abt it, and it sure does not make me feel any better,but i think i'm just making a point to myself that i shudn't beg just to do a nice thing to ppl...maybe i crossed the line but i'm just human...i have feelings too...and i have limit to my patience...i dun think i acted wisely on that matter but i just can't take it anymore...why am i the one who always need to be considerate?Trust me...this is not the 1st time i'm feelin abused like this...sigh...when it comes to me....ppl said i'm being emo...when it comes to other ppl..they will say "ohh..let them be... they're just havin a bad day"...is that fair??having said that...i dun feel any better...maybe my friendship is insignificant to many ...but by GOD i tried to be a good friend...i tried...

Sigh...

2004-12-27T15:53:00.000+08:00

Did i do sth wrong?Izzit wrong to be nice?Or was i doing it the wrong way? Well, i hope i learn my lesson now...sighh..

Garden City of Light

2004-12-24T08:19:00.000+08:00

Went out to meet jiji my so called 'sifu' to learn adobe photoshop from her...but dia garang la (seriously jiji..u were!! :p) well after i got back from UPM, watched 'Monster Garage' which is one of my fav show and after that, took a drive around kl to snap a few pics...most of the pics i took around taman tasik perdana...really beautiful place at night...so calming....below are a few which i edited after learnin a few stuff from jiji ystd...thanks ji....

Jln Lembah

Near Bukit Aman

Islamic Museum